Sunday, June 13, 2010

I had a long and complicated dream about you a dream in which I met your new wife named Polly and your new child named Elizabeth. Your mother was there too. I was in your house collecting my belongings having once again been banished from your life. I was confused and needed a ride home. Your wife asked you if you and I had ever danced and you denied it and this upset me (a Judas kiss three times denied) then the three of us were in bed you were behind me holding me your wife behind you and you were crying. Then I was in the bathroom trying to find my book and some lipstick and your wife came in and I told her there are many rooms in this house that you can find if you want and she thanked me. I went to hug your mother who was sobbing uncontrollably. The weight of her body was so real in this dream and her long red braid which I stroked felt like silk. I walked outside and there was a tiny girl maybe a year old or less standing in the back of a truck. I said Elizabeth! and she clapped her hands then flung her arms out like a starfish and I picked her up and she clung to me and wouldn't let go. I knew I had never met her but she knew me and loved me. (I keep dreaming this girl the child me). Then it was time for all of us to get in the car and I was I am bereft and I woke up bereft too tumbled to try to go back to sleep too tumbled to even read. I’m sorry I dreamed you. I had no right.

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